I have been asked by many ,what this post is about.
It's about my past. I have found my roots and where I came from - I wasn't really sure until quite recently. On the one side of my family I knew a lot, as I spent a lot of early years with my grandfather (maternal side), he was a great man and was awarded the MBE, but I never knew my own father, as he died when I was very young - I have no memories of him, which has always been difficult. Recently finding out about my fathers history and where he came from in the Rhondda Valley has created a lot of energy in me. Finding a history in the coal industry - Colliery Firemen, Engine Drivers, Coal Weighers and Colliery Cashiers - shouldn't have surprised me. Everyday I discover more about the hardship of those times, I reflect on the inequality that exists in our lives today.
I have a distant memory of a Davy Lamp with 1909 engraved upon, it celebrated the birth of my father, a tradition in those times. I draw strength from this memory.
It has created Hwyl in my heart - I fear nothing for the times ahead.
The Past Is Hidden From Me NowHis past is hidden from me now.
But be quite clear I make this vow.
To find the truth of why he went.
Those buried thoughts that he has sent.
The steam, the dust, which filled his eyes.
The coal, the sweat, that made him cry.
The heat, the smoke, which made him die.
Oh why, oh why, oh why, oh why...
Who is this man that I can't see.
Who is this man who lives in me?
His life was short and didn't last.
An engine driver from the past.
How did he look - was he strong.
Did he die, or am I wrong?
The truth is there for me to find.
And so this story will unwind.
His orphan son, who fathered me.
The orphan son I didn't see.
The past unknown for far too long
So now I'll try to right that wrong
I bare my soul to all of you.
For all these things that I will do.
To bring to you these things in me.
From both these men I'll never see.